Sunday, August 23, 2015

The Mom Language

Moms seem to have a secret language among themselves and communicate with just a look. Maybe you know the look I'm talking about? The one that is a smile and the tilt of the head? Almost to say, "Oh you're such a lucky mom." or... "How precious...I sure miss when my child was that age", or..."Don't worry, you're doing a great job".

Thomas and I have been getting a lot of these "looks" recently...or maybe I'm just starting to notice them? Unfortunately, my first experience trying to communicate back was awkward and uncomfortable because there isn't a look that says,  "Thank you, but I wish you were looking at me and BOTH of my sons like that." Since Rosetta Stone for "Motherly Communication After Loss" doesn't exist, I haven't been really quite sure how to respond.

I've been trying my best to stay focused on the little boy that is here with me now who needs a totally centered Mommy and have been making my best attempt to learn this form of communication. From what I'm told, the best way to learn a new language is to immerse yourself in the culture and eventually you will have no choice but to speak it.


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Our Journey Through Kelly Clarkson Song Titles

Miss Independent falls in love , gets married, and eventually they want to have a baby. She knew there would be trouble but neither had any idea they were headed for the Beautiful Disaster ahead of them.

At this time in their lives, all their friends and family were either pregnant or had babies, and everyone would always say, "Our child brought us so much joy....when will you be experiencing A Moment Like This for yourselves?". This brought a lot of stress onto their happy marriage quite often. Many times, she would say to him "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to Walk Away."  To which he would always reply, "Dear... My Life Would Suck Without You".

The couple continued for many years until one day they finally heard that Heartbeat Song but halfway through the pregnancy they learned he wasn't going to come home with them. "Why Don't You Wanna Stay with us little boy?" she cried over and over in the hospital bed, but within a week he was Already Gone. After all their struggle only to have it slip away. "Why did this happen to People Like Us", she wondered quite frequently. She would give anything to feel Invincible again like she did when she was younger. It was a very difficult time and they were living on the Dark Side for quite awhile in mourning.

Some months later, they decided they were ready to try again. They went to the RE and said, "There is so much pain Behind These Hazel Eyes, but we have so much love to give. The Trouble With Love Is, it makes you do things that other people think are crazy." And so, they decided to try to have another baby.

Their FET was a success yet the hardest part, surviving another pregnancy, was very difficult. At night she would talk to her little boy and say, "Because of You, I'm Thankful for life and Since You've Been Gone, I also know how fragile it is. Please keep your baby brother safe for me"

It was Some Kind of  Miracle, but their second little baby boy arrived and was healthy and happy and safe. The instant they saw him they both said, "How amazing is it...he's here. Hold on....I need to Catch My Breath"

The two pregnancies were so heartbreaking, frustrating, long and complicated but it changed them in such a way that no other journey could have done. They say What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger and that is definitely the truth.



Here is Me, Jim and my BFF Kelly at one of her shows, Jim wore nail polish LOL