34 weeks and our first of two baby showers!

PHew!  Sorry for the delay in blogging , we're ok just busy weekend!!!

Since Its 11pm and I'm exhausted but wanted to get my blog post posted, this will probably be brief....well, brief for me at least :)

Thomas has definitely taken over my personality and shows it very clearly during the NST (non stress test). Last week, I was in the NST room for over an hour!! It took so long that even I started falling asleep!

He started out moving then fell back asleep....then I'd poke him and he'd wake up but then go right back to sleep. Then he got wise to what was going on and curled up in a little ball so that the monitor would only pick up MY heart rate. Unfortunately, they need a continuous strip of paper from the monitor of HIS heart rate not mine! So every time he'd move out of the monitor range, we'd have to start all over again. Eventually the nurse came in and pinned him in where he couldn't squirm away and had me hold the monitor with both hands until we got the number of kicks needed. Sheesh.

After the NST, I had a regular OB appt. I did ask her about him dropping percentiles as I was concerned he was dropping so quickly. She explained that around now is when genetics kick in with the pregnancy and since I'm below average height and Jim is pretty much average height that clearly we're destined to have a baby that is either under or just at average....so clearly he's starting to take on more and more of my characteristics as days go by :)

Other than the NSTs, my week was pretty boring just work and doctors.

Sunday was the first of our two baby showers. I really thought I was going to freak out and lose it in front of a bunch of people but I kept my cool pretty good. I had a few moments when we first started opening gifts that I felt like I was getting choked up. Mostly when I opened a copy of "Love You Forever" from a friend of Jim's and a bracelet from a coworker that had a charm that said "Mommy to an Angel".

We wound up getting so many amazing gifts that I'm just completely floored at how loved Thomas is already and he's not even here yet. The gifts took up our entire living room and I'm not sure if I have to even tell you this, or if you assume it already, but yes its all unpacked and put away as of today, a day later, LOL. What can I say....I wanted to pay with the baby stuff :)  We got quite a few beautiful baby blankets, some made by my mother in law and one made by Jim's aunt. We also got a handmade blanket from a friend of the family to go with our "Where the Wild Things Are" theme. It is truly extraordinary and I just love it so much!!!

I will have to post pictures of the actual shower later since my sister in law was taking pictures and my father in law is making us a disc. Until then, here is my "official" 34 week bump shot and a front shot for a better view of the outfit I wore to the shower :)

Two more weeks and we do it all again!! Thank goodness shower #1 gifts are all in their proper places now!!

33 weeks ... one thumb left until a one handed countdown!

I mean, its possible that I'm already in a one handed countdown of course but we wont know that until we get there so I'm just going with 6 weeks left for now!

6 weeks....AHHH!!!  So far away yet so close at the same time!!

When we last left off at 32 weeks, I had lost 2 lbs and was concerned about getting through the week in one piece waiting for my growth scan the following Friday to make sure Thomas was still doing ok in there. It was a looooong week indeed but at least I had a few things to keep my mind occupied.

First.... I had a Dentist appointment on Monday night. I cannot even remember the last time I had a cavity. It has to be nearly 20 years or more buuut.... you see where this is going with the general theme of blog posts lately? Yup!!  Not one but TWO cavities, WTeverlivingF?!? Ugh, at least they wont fill them until Thomas is born so I have some time to put it off, LOL. They're on two teeth near the front teeth too but the dentist says that they have tooth colored fillings that no one will know I have them there. Apparently, this is just one more really awesome side effect of gestational diabetes. There was some damage to my teeth from the brackets on my braces (since they were on me over four years) which makes the tooth more susceptible to decay. Couple that with all that's going on in my body with the GD/pregnancy the dentist said its just a bad combo of things. Awesome!

Second, I chopped my hair on Wednesday night. Ahh!!  I was getting sick of it being so long and getting tangled and snarled. Plus, when Thomas gets here I'm not really interested in spending a lot of time attempting just to get a brush through my hair so chop chop!!

Third.... Thursday was my first "official" NST test (we technically had our first NST when we went in 2 weeks prior for decreased movement). When I first got there and the nurse had me pee in a cup and took my weight. Down another .5lb, ugh. She hooked me up to the monitors Thomas started thumping around like crazy. She said "Oh well this will be an easy 20min test for you from the looks of it" and left the room. The second the door shut....he went back to sleep. I poked and poked my belly but nada. After about 10 minutes the nurse came back in to check on me and saw that I hadn't pressed the button once. She said "This is a boy isn't it?" Haha. She got this thing out that looked like a taser and said "I'm going to have to buzz him". I was like....ummm, I'm sorry you have to what?? Sure enough the taser looking thing made this really loud obnoxious buzzing noise. She put it right up against my belly and shook my belly while it buzzed. Wow. Yeah that worked! The last 10 minutes of the minimum 20minute required time on the monitor was spent pressing that button. He was moving so much that he gave himself hiccups!! Now we know that he isn't interested in water, juice, walking around and poking.....buzzers wake him up, lol.

So then it was Friday, huzzah. Everything is seemingly ok with Thomas he's still growing properly. We were a little concerned because he has been pretty consistently in the 49th percentile, which means he was smack dab in the middle of average weights and sizes of babies at that gestation. On Friday, however, he weighed 4lbs which put him down to the 29th percentile. My MFM said that she wasn't concerned and as long as he's growing in size and weight that she's not concerned unless he at some point dropped below the 10th percentile. He also is , still, breech and doesn't really seem to be going anywhere so she did said that its looking pretty likely that I'll be a csection. There is an option to have my OB try and turn him but I've heard its not pleasant plus there is a chance that he could flip back to breech anyways. On top of that, I really don't want to mess with him all that much. I'd prefer this be something he do on his own. He technically has another 3 weeks before they're scheduling me for a csection for sure instead of an induction but he seems pretty cozy where he's at. There also are a few other methods that are supposed to entice a baby to flip head down. One is called "Spinning Babies" which is full of yoga-like moves. Another is called the Webster technique which is done by a chiropractor. I did find a chiropractor near our house that can perform this technique so I will be calling Monday to get some more information. In other news, it appears as though Thomas now has his mother's nose :)   What do you think?

Yesterday was Valentines Day and for once in six years, Jim actually had the night off! YAY! So we went out for dinner to the restaurant where we had our first date....six years ago!  Matter of fact, we got engaged in their parking lot five years ago and the table we sat at last night was the same one we were at the night we were engaged too! Ahh memories :) At any rate, I totally blamed the darn old GD diet and "had to get a steak". Mmmmm steak. So meaty juicy and no carbs....my favorite. It was a very very tasty meal and I will most definitely enjoy having my leftovers for dinner tonight. Yum yum! Before we left for dinner, since I was feeling cute and pregnant instead of large and in charge as usual I snapped a pic of myself haha. We also had the waitress take our picture at the table since its most likely the last nice dinner out just the two of us for awhile! Oh my goodness....scary. But in a good way.

 

 

 

When I found out that I was pregnant with Thomas back in July. I told "whoever was in there" that they had to stay put at least until Valentines Day and after that we would talk about their arrival. Well, that was an awfully fast 7 months and now that Valentines Day has come and gone I really don't want to talk about his arrival just now. Too early!  33 weeks seemed amazing back in July....compared to 20 weeks with his brother, it really is amazing....but we've gotten this far lets see how much longer we can prolong this! In case he was really going to hold me to that Valentines Day date, I did pack most of my hospital bag already. Better safe than sorry right? Plus, obviously if you know me or at least know me through reading this blog, you probably are more surprised that I DIDN'T have my hospital bag packed right? Ha! Here's my official 33 week bump shot while I took a little break from packing.

 



 

Maternity Photos!!!

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Password is jimandkate


I'm really happy how they turned out, hope you like them too!!

32 Weeks

So, have you ever heard about how pregnant women cry for no reason? I always thought that was insane and made up. Apparently....its not. WTF.  This week has just been chock full of emotional insanity that I feel like I'm a different person at times. I don't cry! What's this?!?  It started during Superbowl....yes you'll agree that the commercials were depressing and who could blame me for crying. How, then, do you explain the full out bawling during the halftime show? Katy Perry doesn't usually bring on ugly tears, LOL

I've also, at times this week, been feeling those same uncontrollable moments that I had last year this time just after losing Jack. Just as I was wrong that getting past 20 weeks would make me less anxious in this pregnancy, so too was I wrong that getting past his birthday would make me stop grieving so fiercely. I have noticed though, not sure if its coincidence or just a moment of intuition, that its gotten worse since last weekend when the big snowstorm hit. Last year it snowed pretty much from November to April and by the time Spring came we could barely get the mail out of our box because the snow covered it. I spent my first few months after losing Jack also having to deal with driving and walking around in mounds of snow and sheets of ice (and had gotten in my first  of two accidents that I had last year alone....this one with a semi truck no less....in the snow and ice). Things that give me anxiety to begin with. I remember on MULTIPLE occasions trying to leave for work and out of nowhere having just an emotional breakdown and essentially temper tantrum because I couldn't bear the thought of getting in the car, driving 30 miles thinking I'm going to crash my car, then turning around 8 hours later to do the same in the dark.

Granted, its been well over a month since Jack's birthday and I had thought things were going well until this snow hit. All of a sudden I'm finding myself having the random outbursts again and I just want to stay in my house and hide under a rock until its end of March. Now, coupled with the snow/ice, I'm petrified that I'm going to fall and hurt Thomas. I don't care about myself (to a certain extent of course), I'm just so scared that I'm going to fall forward on my belly on a patch of ice and hurt him someone or force him to be born too soon. The worry of hurting this child, coupled with having lost his brother, coupled with I HATE WINTER, Its sometimes all just too much and boils over.

At any rate, I had two doctor appointments this week. Tuesday was my Endocrinologist. My sugar levels haven't been great so clearly as I progress in the pregnancy I'm becoming more insulin resistant. She increased my dose of Metformin so now I'm taking it twice a day. We're going to watch that for a while and see what happens but its seeming likely that I'll have to be put on insulin. Not exactly ideal but considering its me we're talking about , I wouldn't be surprised. I had a dream last night that I was at my cousin's house and they had donuts. I said "Screw this GD" and ate four donuts. Mmmmm donuts, LOL. I then reached for a bag of Doritos and my mom said "Don't give up". Then I woke up....weird.  :::SIGH:::   Ok Mom, always have to be my voice of reason even in my dreams huh?  Figures, lol.

Yesterday I was able to satisfy my craving for buffalo chicken strips with a GD friendly recipe. I also found this recipe for these "orange things" as I call them. Its just sugar free Jello with plain greek yogurt, microwaved, put into cupcake liners, and put in the fridge. So they're like orange gelatin things....pretty tasty though! And best part , I could eat the whole tray of thingys and only consume 15 carbs leaving me another 15 for a snack. No way anyone could eat the whole tray of them though they're really sweet!

Real quick...back to dreams, speaking of my "Screw GD" dream.... I keep having this reoccurring dream that I'm going in for another FET at 36 weeks. Yes, an FET ....while pregnant. Ha!  In my dream though it makes perfect sense and I can't understand why more people aren't doing it too! Also in my dream, I'm sure that since we always transfer two and one sticks that I'll be having twins at the end of March but I'm so happy I only have to carry the second one for 3 weeks instead of full term. WTF brain!  I think this one comes from my recent thoughts about how I wish that Jack and Thomas could be brothers on earth instead of earth and heaven separating them. Essentially, I have two babies and one of them I didn't carry nearly as long as the other. Maybe I'm becoming too "dream analyzy" but that's what I'm going with :)

On Friday, I had my regular OB appointment. The first of my now every two week appointments. I was supposed to have a NST done as well but since at my last appt. I finally convinced them they had my due date wrong, they realized they booked my for my first NST at 31+5 and not 32 exactly as it would have been with THEIR due date on record. So next week will start that. What I found out at the appointment though was that the MFM recommended my NSTs increase to twice a week after 34 weeks, so now my appointment schedule looks insane!!!  Between the NSTs weekly and biweekly, OB appointments every 2 weeks turning into weekly, the Endocrinologist and the MFM (whose appointments don't even come up on this list because its a separate system) this printout is crazy looking!! Considering there are only 7 weeks left in this pregnancy, that's a lot of appointments for one little baby! LOL

 

The appointment was a little frustrating because I really felt rushed through. It was with the OB that got me when I called the after hours number on New Years Day. I think that is just her personality. She was nice enough, don't get me wrong, just didn't seem to interested in answering many questions. And....I have a lot. The only thing I was able to ask her about was my concern about my weight. I had been the same weight since my appointment on November 25th but at that appointment last Friday, I had dropped 2lbs.  You hear about weight loss in pregnancy a lot but usually linked to HG or issues with morning sickness. Neither of which are an issue at this point. During my 1st trimester, even through the awful nausea and puking, I still managed to gain the weight I was supposed to. How? I don't know....maybe Lucky Charms really is lucky, because that's pretty much all I ate, LOL. Now though, I'm almost at the end of my pregnancy and I'm losing weight? Its supposedly common with GD but I thought that was when you first started the diet.....not 8 weeks later. The OB was less than helpful and pretty much told me that I just had to wait until my next growth scan to see if Thomas is still growing properly. Great, way to put me even more on edge this week! Thanks!

 

Saturday (yesterday) we had our maternity photos taken. Hopefully we'll have our sneak peek in the next few days but I think they came out really cute and I'm so excited!!  We have quite a few shots in there that incorporate Jack and Thomas together so I'm really excited about that. Jack missed out on so much that I'm happy at least we were able to give him an opportunity to be part of the maternity pictures too. Want your own sneak peek of what I looked like sort of yesterday? Here's 32 weeks.....a day later still wearing the same clothes, hair and makeup, LOL.....ugh, energy come find me now please!!!



31 Weeks.... Commence insanity

I'm ....something. I don't know exactly what it is. Best way to describe it is a little bit of nervous, mixed with anxious, with excited, with fear, with worry, with nausea, and with exhaustion. All at the same time. Every day.

Funny joke I came up with the other day.

Q. What's the difference between 1st trimester and 3rd trimester?

A.  10-30lbs.... LOL

Seriously though....we're back to the can't sleep, gotta pee, omg I'm going to puke buuuut ok maybe not, can't clean more than one room at a time without sitting down to rest phase. Except now I have a bowling ball attached to me which makes things a lot more interesting.

I'm trying not to stress out but for me that is nearly impossible. Besides my pregnancy woes, work has been keeping me busy. That's a good thing except I've started weekly doctor appointments which throws my whole weekly schedule off. I'm struggling to keep up on things because I'm away from the house at odd times. Struggling but still accomplishing, let that be known. Thankfully as of today there are only 40 work days left until Maternity Leave begins. Hallelujah. I'm ready now.....for the leave, not for Thomas of course.  If only I could just stop working now but still get paid, LOL  :)

My GD has been another bone of contention recently as well. I'm not sure if its because now I'm getting closer to the end date that Thomas is just requiring more and more but my sugars are up down and all around even on the Metformin. I'll eat the same exact meal at the same exact time yet one day it will be in the 90s (good)  and the next day it'll be in the 130s (bad). :::Sigh:::  I really don't get it. I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist on Tuesday and I'll be asking her about this. I'm not sure if , as mentioned, its Thomas causing these irregular numbers or if I'M doing something wrong. Its seriously beyond frustrating when you're working so hard at something that means so much  (keeping my baby safe!!!)  yet you can't completely accomplish the task.  Last night I made a homemade ice cream recipe I found on Pinterest for strawberry banana ice cream. It actually was pretty good and I was happy to see my fasting sugar this morning in the 80s. Winning. Although of course I'll have it again tonight and tomorrow's sugar will probably be 100 knowing how this has been going!

This weather doesn't help either. Now that Thomas' nursery is complete, I don't have anywhere to put the nervous energy towards so I've been just sitting and festering. Its too cold to go outside....even to just do my coupon shopping or go to Dunkin' Donuts drive through for a cup of coffee. So I sit....and think....and obsess over how many days are left until I can see his face. I don't mean for this blog post to come off as a whine or complaint because I'm not doing either. I'm just ready for this to be over and for him to be here and to see him alive and breathing in my arms. Lot's of people keep telling me to enjoy pregnancy and I'll miss if when he's here. I honestly don't see how that is possible. This feeling of constant "ball full of everything" ness is getting to be unbearable. Somedays I just want to cry because its taking too long to get to the end of March. I do realize that the fear and worry about his safety is not ever going away but I can't see him right now. At least when he's here I can physically see him and confirm he's ok without having to run to the doctor or hospital for reassurance.

Speaking of which....

Last Monday we had to run to the OB because I wasn't feeling him move. Sunday all day he bumped around very little and all Monday morning there was nothing. I layed on my side, drank OJ (totally bad for my GD!),  tried poking and jiggling my belly but nothing. Went into the OB's office for my first NST test, a week early, and of course the second they put the monitors on he starts moving around again. I honestly don't think he likes constriction like the monitors or the Doppler because he seemed to be pretty riled up. After the NST test we had an ultrasound done by the OB which showed that he was just hanging out and totally fine. She did a biophysical on him to check his respiration, fluid level, and movement. I'm not exactly sure how many of each they look for but she said she got what she needed to see in under 10 minutes which was excellent. She turned the screen to Jim and I and we got to see him reclined and relaxed....but breathing. phew. The OB explained that now that he's getting bigger his movements wont feel the same anymore. Instead of little kicks and jabs it will be rolls and swishes as he flips himself around. Another reason why movement might be a little more difficult to feel now is that my amniotic fluid was a little elevated. She said at 30 weeks (last week) they'd like to see around 15 but mine was at a 19. She wasn't concerned just said it will need to be watched especially since too much fluid is common with GD so she wasn't too surprised. She did say though that when my water breaks its going to be a waterfall....LOL. Better get the chucks and towels on the bed now just in case!

So that is about all going on this week. This upcoming week until induction day we'll be becoming BFFs with the OB staff, yay! We also got our Pack n' Play yesterday which I was really excited about. I set most of it up already in the basement. I realized that the mattress that took me so long to secure to the floor of the play yard had to come out to install the cuddle cove and changing station. So yeah, the cuddle cove and changing station are on the floor but we have a nice play yard right now! haha! We were supposed to have our maternity photos taken yesterday but there was a mix up with dates so we had to reschedule for next weekend instead. Since I was already dressed up, I made Jim take my picture :)   This actually works out better though because I realllllly wanted a couple pictures of us in the snow but there was no snow on the ground yesterday. TODAY? There is snow. A lot of snow. So much that I'm pretty sure that it will still be there for a few pictures on Saturday. Eeeps! So here are my "Maternity photos Take 1" pics and today's official 31 week shot!