August 17- Indeed the last monitoring Appt!!

This morning was my final monitoring appt. and even though the weekend u/a tech got a number smaller than what they got Wednesday they're still proceeding with transfer.

Tonight and tomorrow I continue as normal. Monday I downgrade to 2mg of Estrace morning and night plus add a morning and afternoon Endometrin tab and a PIO shot to follow at night.

Transfer is Friday the 23rd, I took the day off work so it'll be a nice long weekend for me. The estrace continues until beta which I'm pleased. I've never been on estrogen after transfer so it makes me happy that ill be on it this time.

Well... Next weekend this time ill have been PUPO a whole day!!

Yikes!!

August 14-- Apparently NOT the last appt

Was pretty sure today would be my last monitoring appt for this FET but guess not. They need at least a 7mm and I'm at...get this...6.9 WTF

I've got to go back Saturday for another follow up and should be good to go for the Friday transfer.

Grrrrr

August 11th--- The post where I lose it

With the loss of my best friend I'm in a bit of a funny state of mind. I have things to do to continue living my life. However, it just doesn't seem fair that I'd be worried about such trivial things when I'm still here and living today.

I'd like to talk to Jim about it but maybe if we have a daughter we can name her after Jen in some way. Obviously he'd have to agree but well see. We also talked about planting a tree in her memory. I'm not sure that I like that though since I'd eventually in a decade or so like to move, then I'd essentially be leaving her memory behind. So, I'm not quite sure.

At any rate, this is my secret post for today so I should talk about this cycle right?

I just started the 3mg portion of my flow sheet. Wednesday I'm going back in for monitoring, possibly my last monitoring appt. it just hit me that my FET is next week.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to be back in that state of mind of "oh my god please let this have worked" again, but I guess it's too late now right?!

So next week is FET.... Ill be starting PIO in a few days (provided Wednesdays appt is ok) and well be back to the waiting. Seems kinda crazy for a six week process to be determined yes or no in a weeks time. I'm not really sure that I can mentally handle another BFN. I mean....2 failed IUIs, 1cancelled IVF, 4 failed fresh IVFs
...this has to be a positive right? Isn't it my turn yet?

I've waited so patiently through 17.5 months of failed medicated cycles.

Before that, I endured 12 months of diagnostic testing between my Gynecologist, Reproductive Endocrinologist, AND a regular Endocrinologist.

Before that, I spent 20 months peeing on all sorts of sticks hoping for a miracle to avoid needing medical intervention.

After 49.5 months, Isn't it my god damn freaking turn?!?

::Sigh::

End rant.

August 9-- A light at the end of the tunnel

Today I forgot to take my estrace in the morning. I freaked out a few minutes but luckily the nurses at the RE office are so nice and talked me down....take two when you get home they said. That is just what I did!!

Tomorrow is my last night of 1mg in the morning and 1mg at night. Sunday morning starts 3mg in morning at at night. My monitoring appt is Wednesday and I don't see why I wouldn't be ready.

I mean, after all..... My lining went from a 2mm to a 4.7 in just 4 days and two of which were AF days. I'm pretty confident that Wednesday they'll give me the ok to start progesterone. Five days from then is FET , so I'm thinking Tuesday the 20th.

That actually would work out good since we're going to visit my parents the following weekend I wouldn't have to worry about scheduling my beta. Plus....if it is actually positive I can tell my parents in person.

Anywho...cart before horse what else is new with me.

August 6th--- Moving right along....suprisingly!

After having AF for my birthday, I fully expected to have a thinner lining or at least the same level but....it's thicker!!!

My e2 was 116 and my lining was a 4.7....crazy!!!

I'm increasing my Estrace from 1mg once a day to twice a day for the next four days. Then I'll increase to three in the morning and three at night for another four days and back in for possibly my last monitoring appointment next week.

Although an FET is easier, it sure takes a long time to prep!!  I hope this is worth it because I totally hate waiting all this length of time.

August 3rd----- AF???? WTF?!?!?!

With a lining of 2mm, I want to know where this AF is coming from?!?!

I literally just convinced my RE that AF wasn't going to come and by my suppression check yesterday he and the nurses agreed. Yet....why did I wake up squishy this morning?

Because IF is a bitch. That's right, I said it.

I'm not even going to tell the RE about this. I don't go back until Tuesday morning anyways so its gotta be gone by then and they won't ever have to know. I'm going to keep taking my Estrace and hope for the best.

FU IF!!!

August 2nd---- All is Quiet on the Southern Front

Went in for my suppression check today and tadahhhhhh, nothing going on!!

Lining is at a 2mm and my e2 was <20   , LOL that is so quiet its laughable. I love it!!

Anywho, I was kinda bummed that I'm staying on the Lupron the whole time. I thought I'd be off it when the Estrace started. They are downgrading my dosage to 5units down from 10units which hopefully will help the hotflashes to subside. I honestly don't even care if they completely subside....as long as they stop coming on while I'm at work.

I was talking to the girls in Accounting today and randomly started hot flashing. The one girl says, "Are you ok?!?!?!!"  to which I replied , " Nooooo!!!!!.....but keep talking I'll be freezing in another minute"  LOL

Also something new learned today. The RE's nurse said I may be on the Estrace up to 3 weeks. If she had to guess , she'd guess my FET would be on Friday, August 23rd. We are leaving one week later to visit my parents in TN, so I asked if I would come in that morning for beta and then go to work buuuuut (there's always a catch) they do betas on the 8TH DAY after transfer...and I'll be in TN. The nurse said I could always find a Quest in TN and ask them to do it but I said hell to the no. If its negative I don't want to be lounging around my parents house all weekend moping. Sooo....if it falls in that weekend she said we can just have a late beta . NBD. Phew....that's a load off.

August 1st-- I have had enough!!!

I'm sick of these migraines!!!  I know they are being caused by a handful of reasons right now but the dropping estrogen isn't helping. The nurse told me if I didn't get AF by Friday (tomorrow) then I should call their office.....well today, tomorrow...whats the difference? They were a little confused as to why I was calling. I wasn't calling with a cd1 and it wasn't Friday. I explained the situation to the head nurse and just said, "Pleeeeeeeease can I come in tomorrow" and she agreed :)

Tomorrow 9am is my first suppression check, yay!!  Hopefully Estrace will start tomorrow night and I can get off these Lupron shots sometime soon too!!! Chug chug chugging along now!!

Wednesday, July 31st--- 4th day off BCP

Well....so far to all I'm getting are daily migraines, random hot flashes, and no AF.

Today I wore white pants to work figuring that would entice AF to show her ugly face but NOPE! It feels like its about there but I keep checking and nothing. Booo. At least I only have to survive until Friday before I can just call the RE and get in for my suppression check.

But anyways, my lord these hot flashes....phewwwwwie!!!!  I'm shivering in the office at work and then all of a sudden I'm dripping in sweat. I think I know what menopause feels like now and I don't like it all that much. I couldn't help but singing...." Flashhhhhh ahhhhh....savior of the universe" on repeat in my head today, LOL

Hello out there!!! Happy Labor Day!!!

I haven't forgotten about you all in public blog land, things have been just kinda crazy!!!

So I'm going to tell you about my crazy dream and then about my trip to see my parents this weekend because both are interesting and not cycle related.

First dream....
I'm at the beach and a family from Ireland comes and sits down next to me. They have a HUGE white dog that looks like a polar bear. They tell the dog to go into the water which it proceeds to run and jump into the water. Next thing I know....there is a hippopatomus in the water and the dog attacks and kills it. Then it starts going crazy and attacking all the dogs in the water too. I'm yelling at the family to get the dog out of the water.....for pete's sake it killed a hippo!!!  I woke up yelling from that dream.

Next the trip to visit my parents this weekend:
Jim picks me up at work at 4pm and we head out to park the car at his Grandma's house. She drives us to the airport, and while we were running a bit behind, we made it just in time. Also, the line for security was pretty short so we were able to grab a quick bite to eat and bring it to our gate.

Our flight was scheduled to board at 6:35pm and we sat down at the terminal around 6:15ish. Twenty minutes to go before our flight hurray!!!!....until KABOOOOMM and the sky opened up into a monsoon thunderstorm before our eyes. Of course, all flights were grounded and no flights could come in which included the flight we were waiting on to board. Our flight was circling the airport waiting and hoping for clearance to land but never got it, and started to run out of gas and had to divert to Indianapolis.

Fast forward....the time is now 7:15pm when our flight should have left 10 minutes ago but our plane is in another state and won't even be leaving Indy until 8:15 scheduled to arrive at 8:45 provided the weather held up. This would put our arrival time into Atlanta (where were had a layover and a flight to catch to Nashville) at shortly after midnight their time. Too bad our plane was supposed to leave ATL at 11:10pm , it was the last flight to Nashville, the airport wouldn't put us up in a hotel so we'd have to sleep in the airport until the next flight at 10am.

So.....we drove!!!  We went back to Grandma Shirley's got the car and headed out. We thankfully were able to stay with my friend who lives in Louisville which was about the half way point to  where my parents are in TN.

We didn't get in until after 2am due to awful traffic in Chicago and a crazy storm in KY, probably the one that grounded our flight, LOL so we got a tour of my friend's new house (its really nice!!!) and went to bed. I felt bad we dashed out in the morning so fast but we had to get to my parents house at some point this weekend!!!

Finally Saturday around 2pm we arrived at my parents house in Fairfield Glade, hurray!!!  I really like their house and the community is pretty slick. They took us to a beer tasting even a few hours after we got there and then we went for dinner at the golf course clubhouse restaurant. Sunday we had breakfast on their back porch and watched the deer running around in their wooded backyard lot. It was really serene and peaceful which is right up their alley so I'm sure they're going to love living there! Sunday night my parents had their friends who moved to town and their daughter come over for dinner. It was fun to chit chat but by 7 or 8pm Jim and I both were passed out on the couches!!

This morning we woke up early and took my parents out for a nice breakfast.....Waffle House, LOL then headed back home. We got on the road at 10am and didn't get home unti almost 8pm because the traffic in Indiana was ridiculous!!

Now I'm just doing some laundry getting ready to go back to work tomorrow. Ugh....don't wanna!!!

Hope you all had great Labor Day weekends!!