Dear body...you suck.

So much for progress. Well, I should say , so much for the type of progress I'm looking for.  The least fav. nurse called me with the results. At first all she said was, "Dr. wants you to continue on the 300iu tonight and tomorrow and come back Monday morning for a repeat" and then was about to hang up! I was like, hey wait a minute, I'd like to know what the results were. She seemed a little put out to answer my questions, which is why I prefer weekday monitoring appointments because I get "Amy" on the phone and not this lady. So anyways, today's cd10 monitoring came back with an e2 of 308, which I'm pleased with for the most part. What I'm not particularly pleased with is the follicle count and sizes. She said there were "lots" of follicles on both sides. The left side had mostly all under 10mm, but one at exactly 10mm, and one at 11mm. The right side all were under 10mm. My fear is that we're in the same situation as last month, with only one follicle large enough to trigger and just barely large enough to do so. I'm on such a high dosage of this medication to begin with, its astounding that my system is not responding much better. Depending on how Monday's monitoring appointment goes, I'm thinking of calling the doctor and asking if I'd benefit from an additional medication. I think I've read that Follistim, or something like it, would aid in the production of follicle size. Where the Menopur has both FSH and LH, the Follistim has only LH if I remember correctly. Seems to me that the production is not the issue, rather the speed and size are the issue, so perhaps having both meds would increase the size quicker to make my chances greater for an IUI to be successful. I dont know, I'm not the doctor afterall so we'll have to see what happens. However, they try the IUI three times before moving to IVF they say, so I'd like to at least give each IUI a shot at working with the best size and quality follicles before being subjected to an IVF cycle...and honestly, they said I'd need at least 3 follicles for an IVF. If I can't even barely have one follicle of a decent size, its not making me too optimistic for IVF. Oh well, that is something to be worried about at another date and time. I'm heading out for lunch with one friend today and dinner with another tonight so I'm going to enjoy my day & night and just relax!

Nothing is going my way!!!!....GRRR!

Last cycle I had everything in line and my perfectly arranged schedule. However, the cycle ended up in  BFN so I'm thinking now that nothing is going how I want it to, maybe a BFP?? :)  Wishful thinking.

So after my  normal routine got jacked up on Saturday I was concerned about today but figured since it was a weekday it'd be ok. False.

I woke up at 5:00am and ate breakfast really quick. I was able to eat right away for once because oh guess who ran out of Sythroid this morning? THIS GIRL!!! At least I had some food on my stomach.

I got out the door at 5:30 and was stuck in traffic but luckily was able to still get there and be in line by 6:30am. I was second in line...not first, but not bad. All of a sudden, the doors to the lab fling open. The girl ahead of me looked at me, then looked at the open door, and bolted. Well, I bolted after her. My favorite lab guy was there and he agreed to take us early even though the lab didn't open until 7am...not sure why they open the doors if they're not open anyways. So luckily, he was able to get me first draw unlike the Snoopy guy!

After labs I was all excited because it was still before 7am, and I was still second in line for ultrasound since the office hadn't opened yet. I thought for sure I'd be done and home by 7:45am. This woman in line ahead of me, is smacking her gum and playing some game on her phone with the volume on full blast....I was about to rip the phone from her hands and throw it down the elevator shaft. LOL. So ultrasound went quick, my favorite tech today! She's the only one who talks to me and knows my name.

Despite being done so early, traffic on Lake Shore Drive was a mess and it took me about an hour and 20min. to get home. So my nurse calls this afternoon and tells me that me e2 is only at 60 and the follicles aren't really moving much. They increased my dosage again! I'm on 300iu now which from what I'm reading and learning on some of the message boards is pretty high dose. I had to order 3 more boxes but they think that if I take the higher dosage tonight, tomorrow and Friday then Saturday morning should show the progress and I'll hopefully be able to trigger and set up IUI #2.

Things are going to be different for this IUI. No POAS for the trigger or at any time before 14dpiui because I never want to go through that crazy again. Jim and I have a bet...a one sided bet...if I make it 2 weeks without POAS , then I can get a mani/pedi so I'm determined :)

Don't mind me...I'm hormonally challenged

The past few days have been especially difficult as the hormones have invaded my body. I think I've finally got it together today, but that was a tough few days there. Friday, after the funeral, my parents and I headed to the Denver airport to come home. After a spat with my Mom on the plane because of her choice in seating, we both ended up crying most the flight home to Chicago.

Once we got to Midway Airport, I became a raging lunatic, LOL. My Dad went to pick up the car and drive it around while my Mom and I picked up our bags. However, when my Mom and I arrived outside at the pick up location we noticed that two out of the three lanes of traffic were blocked by people who had parked their vehicles, put their hazard lights on, and left their cars. The third lane of traffic was the only one open, so when people spotted their pickup person they had to stop in the only flowing traffic lane to let them in the car. It took 45 minutes for my Mom and I to be picked up because of all the rude ass people. One of which was actually full of people who were just sitting and waiting. When their friends came out and got in the car, they realized they couldn't leave because they were blocked in by all the other dumbasses that parked there too! The one guy even had the nerve to get out and try and direct traffic around his friend's car so they could get out. He asked a senior man to actually move out of the way from trying to look for his pickup so they could back up. I loudly voiced my opinion while standing in the chilly Chicago night....after spending a week away from home and work and wanting to go home...about how ridiculous those people were. I wish he had to ask me to move, he would have gotten a little more than my opinion that is for sure.

We finally got back to my parents house around midnight and I was so beat tired I just went right to sleep in what I was wearing. Matter of fact....its Sunday and I'm still wearing what I wore on Friday(minus the dress pants, I'm in yoga pants, like that matters), I'm still that tired. The alarm went off rather early for me, 6am and I had to go in for cd3 appointments downtown.

Jim picked me up at 6:45am and we headed downtown. I have a routine set for these appointments and right from the get go, the routine was thrown off when the nurse opened the door at 7:40am instead of waiting until 8am. I just knew this wasn't going to be a typical day of stabs and pokes. She was SOOO nice though, it almost made the craziness worth it. She even walked over to the lab herself to get me a number (its like a deli....take a number and wait). So when the office and the lab both opened at 8am we headed over to the waiting room. Usually it goes like this....you have #1 for ultrasound and #1 for labs. They call the ultrasounds 1-5 and you do that first. When you return, the lab recirculates the numbers so that you're automatically next in line when you get back. This time, they took awhile to call ultrasounds and they called my lab number. Well, all the women were looking at me like why aren't you going? So I went. It was a different guy, who didn't know that my veins were non-existant and thought he could magically pull blood from them by sticking me wherever looked good. To make matters worse, instead of putting gauze on the puncture wound (LOL) and taping it down like they always do, he put this itty bitty circle bandaids on me with SNOOPY!!!!  I looked like a little kid walking out of a doctor office!! OMG. I came out and waited for my ultrasound number to be called and just started crying in the waiting room. Jim looked a little scared but then I remember a funny story.....when I was on the plane home fighting with my Mom I was also playing this game on my phone call "Draw Something" which is something like Pictionary. While she was yelling at me, I accidentally sent a drawing as finished. It was supposed to be a sink overflowing but I only had drawn part of the sink. That made me laugh so I felt a little better. Finally they called me in for ultrasound, I was a little creeped out being cd3 and having the cram cam but they reassured me they do it all the time. After that I met with one of the nurses, she said the lining is great and e2 is at 20 so I'm all set to go for round#2.

I asked about how many times we'd do this before pursuing IVF. She said they like to do things at least three times and then they'll move me. I'm a firm believer in planning ahead. Jim and I would like to reschedule our San Diego trip for September so we're going to give April's cycle a shot and if another BFN we'll do our third next month in May. If both come back with BFNs then we're going to take a little break and start our IVF cycles when we get back from vacation end of September/October. Hopefully it doesn't get that far, but its always best to be prepared....mentally, emotionally, and financially.

After the appointment, we went to our favorite little place "Elephant and Castle" for an English breakfast and a pint of London Pride (for Jim...I had coffee...which tasted like macaroni and cheese, yuck). I spent the rest of our day lounging around and catching up on work and laundry. Later last night we did go out for dinner and took a peek at a house I'm interested in. Its in New Lenox, the older part, but what I like best about it is that it has a coach house above the garage which would be absolutely perfect for my office! It has 1 bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen, and living room. The house itself has 3 bedrooms , 2 bathrooms and a full basement. Jim and I both would have everything we needed and wanted in a house so I'm hopeful that it looks nice inside AND its still on the market once we are ready to purchase hopefully Summer/Fall this year.

Timing is everything they say :)

IUI #1= BFN

With only one week left in the 2ww, I was feeling pretty good about the outcome of our first IUI. Last weekend, Jim and I decided to get out of the house and our minds of babies and sit at Barnes and Noble for coffee and reading magazines. My Dad called and told me that his best friend passed away out in Colorado and him and my Mom were packing up and leaving the next morning. Although, there was an arguement about me flying to San Diego this weekend, I told my parents I wanted to come with them to Colorado. I felt it was important to be there with my parents and support them through this loss. It was upsetting to me as well, as we've been family friends and I've "grown up" with his son even though we're so far apart. At any rate, I packed some HPTs and headed to Denver with my parents on Monday. Stressful doesn't even begin to describe this week. My clients know I'm out of town for a funeral yet they are constantly badgering me! I had taken my HPT on Monday and Tuesday mornings both negative but I was still hopeful that it was just a late implantation and that I'd hold off a few days and retest maybe on Saturday when I got home. Wednesday morning when I woke up, I went to the bathroom and SURPRISE!!!!, AF had arrived. It must have been the 2 weeks of Prometrium because AF never arrives without the Provera so this was doubly disappointing. However, what was even more annoying was the fact that I didn't pack any pads with me because getting AF never even crossed my mind! I had to bum two off the hotel front desk and then stop at Walgreens to buy a pack. Now, I'm stressed from work, dealing with the death of my dad's friend, and crampy and crabby as hell. What a trip....at least this morning we had breakfast at my favorite creepy hotel, The Stanley , where The Shining was filmed :)  So today is the wake, tomorrow is the funeral, then late tomorrow we'll be home. I called my RE's office yesterday to let them know what happened. My least favorite nurse was the one who called me back. At first she told me I had to start the Menopur that night, which made no sense because it was only cd1. Regardless, when I explained it had to be billed through Cigna medical and delivered to the house, she told me to pay OOP and buy some at the Walgreens. I told her HELL to the NO. Then she says I need to sit out this cycle since I'm missing cd1. Then I explained that I dont really have a cd1 that its always spotty and this happened last month so why am I going to sit out a cycle over one day's difference? I dont think she wanted to argue so she agreed with me that today (Thursday) would be cd1 instead so Saturday morning I'll be going in for cd3 bw and u/s to start on the Menopur again Saturday night. My hopes though, is that since I'm starting out on 225ui instead of 150 like last cycle, maybe I'll have a better and quicker response. Jim has a side job on May 2nd, so we're really worried that IUI #2 will fall on that day. I'm hopeful things will work out but by chance if it falls on that day, we've decided we're just going to have to use TI for this cycle. Whats the difference if I sit out a cycle vs. TI instead of an IUI, my opinion is that I'd have better chance conceiving on my own with TI rather than no meds and waiting until June right?! Well, this is frustrating but hopefully this cycle is better than last!More to come later!

1/2 way through the 2ww

I still am not feeling any different. Slight, SLIGHT cramping here and there ...maybe just in my mind though. My pants feel a little tight today , but they just came from the dryer :)  We were supposed to be going to San Diego this weekend. We decided to hold off on our trip in case of a BFP I didn't want to be so far from home if something should happen. FX, more to come later!

No more s/e?

Since I started the progesterone on Friday I've got nothing! I had a little bit of cramping one night but that is all. Plus, they're not "messy" like everyone said. Am I doing something wrong? Are they not far enough up my who ha?? lol  Oh lordy.

2dpiui...silly brain

I'm already being tricked into early pregnancy symptoms. I think it is the trigger shot working its way through my system but I'm peeing every hour!...could be the massive amount of water I drank today to so , who knows :)  Tonight I'm starting the progesterone supplements. They go up the who ha...so I'm a little creeped out. Plus, I hear they totally mess with you causing early symptoms as well so I'm not sure what to expect. I haven't had any se from the meds I've been taking so I'm assuming this will be no different...but only time will tell. So, two days down and 12 to go. I can make it!!!!

Tomorrow is the day!!

Well after trekking downtown at the butt crack of dawn every other day for almost two weeks, I was finally given the go ahead to trigger last night!! Surprisingly there is(was) only one follie at 15 from Sunday's ultrasound but she said that it would be plenty large enough by the time I triggered last night (Monday night) and that my IUI is scheduled for Wednesday (tomorrow!!) morning at 8am! I heard that the Ovidril can cause a false positive pregnancy test and was curious as to if the inject was properly into my system....well it is, and its true. Two pink lines! How funny...now hopefully those two pink lines reappear in two pink weeks ;)