31 Weeks.... Commence insanity

I'm ....something. I don't know exactly what it is. Best way to describe it is a little bit of nervous, mixed with anxious, with excited, with fear, with worry, with nausea, and with exhaustion. All at the same time. Every day.

Funny joke I came up with the other day.

Q. What's the difference between 1st trimester and 3rd trimester?

A.  10-30lbs.... LOL

Seriously though....we're back to the can't sleep, gotta pee, omg I'm going to puke buuuut ok maybe not, can't clean more than one room at a time without sitting down to rest phase. Except now I have a bowling ball attached to me which makes things a lot more interesting.

I'm trying not to stress out but for me that is nearly impossible. Besides my pregnancy woes, work has been keeping me busy. That's a good thing except I've started weekly doctor appointments which throws my whole weekly schedule off. I'm struggling to keep up on things because I'm away from the house at odd times. Struggling but still accomplishing, let that be known. Thankfully as of today there are only 40 work days left until Maternity Leave begins. Hallelujah. I'm ready now.....for the leave, not for Thomas of course.  If only I could just stop working now but still get paid, LOL  :)

My GD has been another bone of contention recently as well. I'm not sure if its because now I'm getting closer to the end date that Thomas is just requiring more and more but my sugars are up down and all around even on the Metformin. I'll eat the same exact meal at the same exact time yet one day it will be in the 90s (good)  and the next day it'll be in the 130s (bad). :::Sigh:::  I really don't get it. I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist on Tuesday and I'll be asking her about this. I'm not sure if , as mentioned, its Thomas causing these irregular numbers or if I'M doing something wrong. Its seriously beyond frustrating when you're working so hard at something that means so much  (keeping my baby safe!!!)  yet you can't completely accomplish the task.  Last night I made a homemade ice cream recipe I found on Pinterest for strawberry banana ice cream. It actually was pretty good and I was happy to see my fasting sugar this morning in the 80s. Winning. Although of course I'll have it again tonight and tomorrow's sugar will probably be 100 knowing how this has been going!

This weather doesn't help either. Now that Thomas' nursery is complete, I don't have anywhere to put the nervous energy towards so I've been just sitting and festering. Its too cold to go outside....even to just do my coupon shopping or go to Dunkin' Donuts drive through for a cup of coffee. So I sit....and think....and obsess over how many days are left until I can see his face. I don't mean for this blog post to come off as a whine or complaint because I'm not doing either. I'm just ready for this to be over and for him to be here and to see him alive and breathing in my arms. Lot's of people keep telling me to enjoy pregnancy and I'll miss if when he's here. I honestly don't see how that is possible. This feeling of constant "ball full of everything" ness is getting to be unbearable. Somedays I just want to cry because its taking too long to get to the end of March. I do realize that the fear and worry about his safety is not ever going away but I can't see him right now. At least when he's here I can physically see him and confirm he's ok without having to run to the doctor or hospital for reassurance.

Speaking of which....

Last Monday we had to run to the OB because I wasn't feeling him move. Sunday all day he bumped around very little and all Monday morning there was nothing. I layed on my side, drank OJ (totally bad for my GD!),  tried poking and jiggling my belly but nothing. Went into the OB's office for my first NST test, a week early, and of course the second they put the monitors on he starts moving around again. I honestly don't think he likes constriction like the monitors or the Doppler because he seemed to be pretty riled up. After the NST test we had an ultrasound done by the OB which showed that he was just hanging out and totally fine. She did a biophysical on him to check his respiration, fluid level, and movement. I'm not exactly sure how many of each they look for but she said she got what she needed to see in under 10 minutes which was excellent. She turned the screen to Jim and I and we got to see him reclined and relaxed....but breathing. phew. The OB explained that now that he's getting bigger his movements wont feel the same anymore. Instead of little kicks and jabs it will be rolls and swishes as he flips himself around. Another reason why movement might be a little more difficult to feel now is that my amniotic fluid was a little elevated. She said at 30 weeks (last week) they'd like to see around 15 but mine was at a 19. She wasn't concerned just said it will need to be watched especially since too much fluid is common with GD so she wasn't too surprised. She did say though that when my water breaks its going to be a waterfall....LOL. Better get the chucks and towels on the bed now just in case!

So that is about all going on this week. This upcoming week until induction day we'll be becoming BFFs with the OB staff, yay! We also got our Pack n' Play yesterday which I was really excited about. I set most of it up already in the basement. I realized that the mattress that took me so long to secure to the floor of the play yard had to come out to install the cuddle cove and changing station. So yeah, the cuddle cove and changing station are on the floor but we have a nice play yard right now! haha! We were supposed to have our maternity photos taken yesterday but there was a mix up with dates so we had to reschedule for next weekend instead. Since I was already dressed up, I made Jim take my picture :)   This actually works out better though because I realllllly wanted a couple pictures of us in the snow but there was no snow on the ground yesterday. TODAY? There is snow. A lot of snow. So much that I'm pretty sure that it will still be there for a few pictures on Saturday. Eeeps! So here are my "Maternity photos Take 1" pics and today's official 31 week shot!