If I could only...

Seems like this IF journey has been full of "If only I coulds..."
First it was...
If only I could just get a prescription for Clomid
If only the Clomid would work I know I could get pregnant!
If only I could get a BFP on these IUIs
If only the migraines would go away I could start IVF
If only I could complete an IVF cycle without cancellation
If only I could have had embies to freeze
If only I could get a BFP
As I start onto the second IVF cycle I'm hopeful that this is the end of my "If only I coulds".

My refrigerator in the last 10 years has gone from all alcohol....to all medication

And my insurance company informed me that each box of medication costs roughly $7800.
Thank GOD we have the coverage we do...the thought made me do some calculations:
Cost of 3 IVF cycles= $23,400
Estimated cost of 2 IUI cycles= $5,000
Grand total for MEDICATION ONLY!!!! (not counting never ending bloodwork, ultrasound, and doctor office visits...PLUS, the cost of removal w/anethesia, plus the transfer) is nearly $30k.
Holy freakin shit.
This is my latest $7800 box...pretty nice box huh?? LOL