Thomas' Birth Story and events leading up to it!

April 5th, aka Easter 2015, was Thomas' official due date. Thanks to the laundry list of pregnancy complications, he was born on Tuesday, March 31st, 5 days before his due date!!  His birth, much like the pregnancy, was no walk in the park, quite frankly it was a very traumatic experience all around which is partly the reason why its taken me so long to post this blog. However, if I was strong enough to blog about Jack's birth story then I can blog about Thomas'. I will say however, that I'm glad its over and we're all safe and home and Thomas is healthy and my recovery, while slow and painful, is going well and in the right direction.

Our last weekend sans baby in the house, Jim and I decided to take advantage of that opportunity and grab a bite to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant followed by a couple hours at Barnes and Noble. It was nice to get out of the house and just sit in quiet while reading magazines. I had a little bit of money left on a gift card so I bought Thomas two board books! The first one is "Stellaluna" about a baby bat. I had to read it in a Children's Lit class I took in college and that was always my favorite :)  The other one was "Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You" and since it made me cry standing in the children's section reading it, I had to get it for him.

Monday morning I woke up to THE worst case of diarrhea ever....seriously....EVER!!!  I was sure labor would be coming on its own. Yes, it was that bad. I don't know how I made it the car ride to the MFM office!!  My parents were in town and I wanted my mom to see Thomas on the screen once before actually meeting him. My MIL had the chance to come and see him back in December so I was glad that my mom got the chance too....even if it was the day before he was born, haha. At any rate, it was my usual BPP and it went pretty much as usual. Thomas was sleeping and not wanting to wake up. The MFM came in after the tech was done scanning me to look over the results. Apparently the fluid level was low (a little under 5) and from what he said he was seeing on the screen, if I wasn't scheduled for the csection in the morning, he'd be recommending delivery that day or the next anyways. So of course, that is reassuring information to be given when you still have 24 hours before the baby is born and you can confirm he's safe. All night long I poked my belly because I was so so afraid that his fluid would be gone by morning and something would go wrong with his delivery because of it. Needless to say, I didn't sleep too much Monday night.

The alarm went off at 4am Tuesday morning. I turned it off really quick and just sat there a minute to take in the realization that in a few hours I'd be having a baby. Would he be ok? How big would he be? Would he scream when he came out? Also I was wondering about the csection itself.... "Would I panic thinking about Jack's delivery?" "What would recovery be like"  "Would I be ok with not having a vaginal birth and/or going into labor on my own?" "Would we still be able to bond properly?".... but I put all thoughts, concerns, and fears aside and we got into the car and headed to Dunkin Donuts to pick up donuts and coffee for the L&D nurses. Bribery at its finest :)

The nurses were pleasantly surprised when we arrived with the goodies and after we chatted with them all for a few minutes we were escorted back to the first room to get prepped for the csection. It only took two tries to get my IV in which was a great start to the day in my opinion. One nurse asked me all the questions about my health history while the other one got everything situated to get me into the OR. The shift change happened and our new nurse came in to take me over to the ER.

My fears of hyperventilating were probably not as crazy as I thought because the second I walked into the OR I began freaking out. Everyone was in full OR gear, masks over their faces I couldn't tell who anyone was. It was cold. It was extremely bright. It felt like going in for my D&C after Jack. My nurse that was walking me in rubbed my shoulders and told me it would be ok. I asked her to just talk to me (I did let them know I had been through a loss) because I hyperventilate when I get nervous or scared. I got up on the table and she explained the position I needed to get into for the anesthesiologist to get the spinal block in my back. Basically you sit on the edge of the table, hunch your shoulders forward and lean forward. She would grab my shoulders and almost bear hug me and pull me further forward so my spine was most accessible for the block. I'd feel a small sting, which was the numbing agent, then they'd put the larger needle into my spine and inject the block as well as a 24 hour dose of Morphine.

I assumed the position. I felt the small sting. Yet, I felt the larger needle. Then he started moving it around. I yelped and said that I could feel it. The anesthesiologist said he was having some trouble getting the block in. Again, small sting. Again, felt the larger needle. This went on and on....poke, poke, poke, poke. At one point he hit a nerve which sent a firework like pain down my left leg. It happened so suddenly it actually made me kick the nurse holding me in position. I yelped again!  He asked what side I felt it on..... tried again....same thing only on the right. The anesthesiologist told me that he was having a problem because the vertebrae in my spine were extremely close together and there wasn't enough space between the bones to  allow him to place the block. At this point he said he was going to go get the other anesthesiologist to try. He said that guy has put in so many more spinal blocks in the Chicago land area and he was the best, so he left the room and I was allowed to sit up straight on the table. I started crying because this was becoming a problem. The nurse assured me that although they hardly ever have trouble getting the needle in and placing the block, when they do have a problem this is usually the reason why and they'd be able to get it in, she was sure of it.

The second anesthesiologist came in and I resumed the position so he could resume the poking. All of a sudden a warm feeling started traveling down my legs. "He got it!" I heard them yelling! Quickly, the nurses picked up my legs (they were starting to get numb already and fast!) and swung them onto the table. Up went the sheet and no sooner did that all happen that I realized the numb feeling was not only heading down my legs but also up my back......then my arms.....then my chest......and I couldn't breathe. I grabbed the anesthesiologist and said I couldn't breathe. He assured me that this was normal (he did explain this feeling might happen before they took me into the OR room) and they were monitoring my oxygen intake and it was at 99% which was excellent. He asked if I wanted my head raised a little, which I said yes. He raised my head....it didn't help. Now the numbness was headed into my throat....I could barely talk. It took all my breath to say "Help me please...I cant breathe".  It traveled into my neck and I couldn't move my head. My OB was asking me if I could feel the pinching to make sure I was numb. I couldn't even move my head enough. The anesthesiologist came over with a bag and began bagging me but since I was aware what was going on I started panicking having air pumped into my throat for me. I could hear every nurse and doctor in the OR running around and yelling things I didn't understand because they were speaking in medical codes. Something like, "We have a C16 over here , get so and so in here NOW!!!" .....and then someone said "Do we need the husband in here?" the response was "NO, do NOT let the husband in here at all". All I could think was, "I'm going to die right here right now..... I went through so much to get to this moment and see my baby and he's not even going to see me, or me see him". That was the last thing I remember as they had to put me under general sedation immediately.

Apparently they got Thomas out pretty damn quick because his birth time was 8:42am (my section time was scheduled for 8:15am). He had just a little bit of the anesthesia so they gave him a little oxygen but he was fine. While they sutured me up, they wheeled out Thomas to Jim (who had NO idea what was going on in there...only that no one came to get him and suddenly he just heard Thomas screaming). Jim went with Thomas to get his first bath and stayed with him until I got into recovery.

I woke up in recovery with nurses around me, Jim and Thomas. I can't begin to even tell you how overwhelming it was to know that not only was I still alive but I had a beautiful baby sitting just feet away from me who was alive as well. I wanted so badly to hold him but the block was still in effect and my arms were numb. While I laid there, I watched my arms flop upward without me even realizing I was moving my arms. It was the weirdest feeling ever. My cannula (tube that provides oxygen) was loose so I thought I'd attempt to fix it but ended up literally smacking myself in the face due to lack of control over my arms. The nurse was nice enough to place Thomas on my chest and move my arm for me to place it over him. We sat in recovery about an hour but even by the time we left for my Mother Baby room, I still didn't have full feeling of my legs.

It's been so long without a blog post and I don't want to overwhelm the blog readers with a novel so I'll break this up into a birth post and do another post for recovery and the last week!!    :)