As I stood in the aisle at CVS trying to pick out a card for Jim, it took all I had not to break down in tears over each and every "Daddy" card. It's bad enough that I'm a hormonal disaster and cry over greeting cards in general (if you hear sobbing at CVS it's probably me picking out a birthday card), but this was different. I was picking out a card for Jim from Thomas and Jack. Clearly Thomas can't pick out his own cards as he is only 3 months old, but someday in the not so distant future he will be big enough and smart enough to read each card himself and decide which one he likes best for his Daddy.
I will always have to pick out Jack's card.
Today, June 23rd, also marks the half birthday for our little Jack. It's been a full 18 months since he's been gone and I just cannot fathom coming up on a 2nd birthday for him. They say your children grow so quick, and they do, but I think they "grow" quicker when they're not here for you to see time passing by in them. Without outgrowing clothes, increasing bottle feedings, sleeping longer at night.... time just . slips. away. and it makes me oh so sad.
In other news, we sent in our yearly payment for our embryo storage again. There are two embryos left just hanging out in an incubator waiting for us. After losing Jack and then my pregnancy with Thomas and scary delivery, I really thought I'd never want to go through that again. However, my Jack and Thomas were both in that incubator at one point or another and when I think how my life has changed so much because of them.... I think it is worth another shot someday.
I wonder who is in there ?
<3 <3 Let me tell you, if YOU hear sobbing at the CVS it might have been ME! I also had a hard time picking out a card for my husband on Rosa's behalf. My heart goes out to you and I feel your pain. Time really does slip away...
ReplyDelete<3 to you too.... I wish you lived closer so we could sob over cards at CVS together ((hugs))
DeleteI can relate to all of this... Tim and I didn't even do cards last year because they are impossible to find for the boys. I think it is so great that you do this for Jack, though.. I think too many people don't include their babies who have gone to heaven, which is a shame. Remember, our FETs need to be planned together... it would just be really weird to not have our third pregnancies not being the same time when all our other kids are the same age!!! LOL
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