Ankle vs. Ankle

Today is the same gestational day that I believe my preelampsia started. Since I was on the cruise, I have no way of knowing what my blood pressure was (only that it was 140s/90s at the MFM a mere 4 days later and 170/100 by the time Jack was born) but I do know that this picture of my ankle I happened to snap on vacation is not right. Coupled with the migraines that started the next day as well.... I had no idea it was the beginning of the end for our Jack.

So , you're wondering, am I obsessively checking my ankles this week? Uh yeah, of course I am....and taking pictures so I can compare them side by side.

Looks like we're doing good so far. It's pretty obvious but picture on the left is last year and picture on the right is today. Please don't mind scraggly toes...its tough for me to bend down there, haha

 

I also forgot to mention in my last blog post that at my OB appointment last Friday I ended up making all my OB appointments through 28 weeks.

 

The receptionist was very insistent that since the calendars were open I should book them while I could. I really, really didn't want to make any appointment past my next 4 week check up but she wasn't taking no for an answer.

 

All I kept thinking about while she scrolled through her calendar was how awful I felt having to call them last year and cancel my 21 week appointment for Jack and explain that he was gone. Since they weren't involved in his delivery they had no idea what was going on and required information. Last thing you want to do is try and explain to a receptionist and/or nurse that your baby died....and he doesn't need another appointment with you. No awful isn't the right word. Such a word doesn't exist.

 

Anywho....my appointments are made. We're optimistically hopeful to keep them. The December appointment originally came up for December 23rd (Jack's birthday). I had to politely decline and pretend I was busy that day.

 

I will be busy....remembering my son that was lost. I don't want to be poked and prodded that day. I have enough issues with being poked and prodded now giving me flashbacks. So my December appointment will be the day after Christmas instead. The people in the office that don't know my history might think I'm a bit of a loon but I don't really care at this point.