Email from hematologist

I either love my doctors or I hate them... My Hematologist is on the love end of that spectrum. Matter of fact, I lurve him almost as much as my RE.

Since I'm home alone with nothing to do but watch reruns on TV, my bored curious mind takes me to Dr. Google, who I hate.

I've been trying to make sense out of what happened to Jack and the best way I know how is to try and hypothesize for myself. I've found a lot of interesting articles stating that FVL , and being heterozygous, increase your chances for early onset preeclampsia. Also a few other clotting issues such as ACA (anticardiolipin antibodies). You all know I have FVL but I pulled my labs from 2009 and was surprised to see my ACA were slightly elevated. Wtf. I emailed my Hema. and told him what happened and asked what his thoughts were on the matter. As of now, I've sort of convinced myself that Jack's Dandy Walker was a coincidence and not related to the pre-e. He is so fast, he already responded basically stating what I've read online that its a possible reason but pre-e is under exam and no one knows the real reason what causes it. Basically I should get the ACA retested and if they're still elevated, when we do decide to try again, they'd probably have me on a baby aspirin as well as Lovenox.

Except wait... I started out on baby aspirin but discontinued it once I went to the OB. Now I have all these crazy thoughts... If I kept taking it would Jack still be here? Were the two things related or not? Could he have been fine or would he still have disabilities if the pre-e never happened? This is all just maddening.

I'm hoping our autopsy comes back soon. I know it sounds crazy but I hope they can tell me definitively it wasn't something I did or didn't do to cause Jack to not be here now. Fat chance but in hopeful.