12 more hours!!

Until this is over... I'm so excited to get this done and over with. I really don't like being put under so I'm not nervous or anxious about what they find in there I'm nervous about being put under anesthesia. Ok, bloggy confession time. In case you haven't realized this yet? I'm a severe control freak... yes, yes I admit it. Its bad. I mean, I don't even like the act of falling asleep at night because those are countless hours I'm totally unconscious and not aware whats going on. Its horrifiying. So you can imagine ... If I don't even like going to sleep at night, having to be put under anesthesia is not the most pleasant thing to deal with. I keep reminding myself though about my 4 IVF retrievals and it was ok and the nap from the drugs was worth it. I'm going with that!!

Its been a loooooong week. I went in Wednesday for my CBC which is required by the RE's office before a hysteroscopy. There is an u/s tech that normally was out in their other office but she draws blood too. I had her once before with Jack and she wasn't great getting my blood. She was there another morning at the office but thankfully the other techs were there and able to draw me. However, Wednesday morning? Not quite so lucky as she was the only tech with a room full of women to draw. She moved the tourniquet a bazillion times and wasn't finding anything. It wasn't on that tight plus she was only lightly brushing my skin trying to find a vein. With MY veins, you'll be there a long time doing it that way. She asked me if I drank any water that morning because I was probably too dehydrated. I explained that she needed to smack my skin to get them to pop and water didn't work for me. However, she continued to brush around my skin and moving the tourniquet. Finally she found one, it didn't work. She was clearly irritated and said she was getting me water. She came back with a Styrofoam cup full of water and took the next person waiting. Uhhh, yeah....well now that I'm back on the BCP I'm getting really irritable and was in no mood for this. I chugged the water and threw it (from my seat) into the wastepaper basket (2 points!!) , started alternating between shaking my hands downward and smacking my own hands to get the veins to pop. Low and behold.... there they were! By the time she came back, the good vein on my right hand looked pretty decent so she went for that one. I'm pretty sure she purposely made that draw painful because its never hurt that bad. Matter of fact, today (two days later) I feel like my whole hand is bruised not just the spot she drew from. Anywho, if that was her real technique and it was just that crappy then I'm going to have to go back to CC and get an A.A. in phlebotomy so I can just draw my own samples from now on, lol. I'm only half kidding about that too....

After that horrific experience I headed back to work to wait for the results to be posted....oh yeah, and to maybe work too, haha. Last year when I first started with this RE, bloodwork would always be posted by around 11am or noon. NOW??  I'm lucky if its up by 2pm and get a call by 4pm. Ok , granted they're not calling me with pregnancy betas so maybe (hopefully) they're getting those calls and posted first and dealing with the miscellaneous calls and labs like mine afterwards.

Remember that control issue? Well.... I obsessively refresh my patient portal to get CBC results can you even remotely imagine my issues with waiting until 2pm for a BETA?!?  LOL look out world!!!  So yeah, speaking of obsessively refreshing.... that's what I did all afternoon yesterday, into all evening, and still no results posted. I started freaking out. "What if they lost my sample?!?"  "What if the tech messed it up.... I think I remember seeing TWO purple tubes but she only drew one!!!"  "I better not get there Friday and have them tell me the surgery is cancelled!!!".  I called the office this morning and they assured me that sometimes CBC labs can be posted the following day.... mmmm, ok, this is my 4th CBC at this office and its never been the next day but whatever. Then the rest of my morning and afternoon were spent refreshing some more....until finally.... they were posted!!!  I printed them out and compared them to my CBC from March (hysteroscopy take #1) and they look ok to me. Of course, I also Googled "Normal CBC levels" just to be sure and compared both labs to what I found. Looks good!


On a happier note, we got our results back from Counsyl and it was 100% normal. Partially relieved and sad all in one. Relieved that we don't have to do another Fresh cycle with PGD and delay this any longer. Sad that we still don't have any answers for Jack and I made a promise to him that I'd do my best to find out what happened to him. On one hand its good that nothing popped on the test but on the other hand, if Jack's issues were a genetic issue than that means it was so rare that they don't even test for it !!  I'm not going to worry about that right now though I'm trying to focus on getting Jack a sibling and I can get lost in genetic mutation articles and journals online for the rest of my life, its not bringing him back. The one upsetting thing to me was that the PROP-1 mutation didn't pop either , which I was hoping was going to be my explanation for my endocrine issues. My endocrinologist could only give me a best guess that PROP-1 mutation was my diagnosis. Since now we know its not, then what the f**k is wrong with my body then?!?

At any rate, I'm glad we're moving along and doing everything in our powers to be knowledgable and advocate for ourselves and future children. We know so much more now than we ever thought or would care to know about genes and mutations and whatevers.

On that note, I'll update this weekend as I can with results from tomorrow's hysteroscopy. Hopefully its quick and simple and I'm cleaning house this weekend. If not, I've got a bottle of T3 with my name on them....literally, LOL