I just am really feeling consumed with a lot of sadness and every once and awhile it just hits me. Tonight is one of those nights...
Monday is Jack's 6 month angelversary and I also stop the BCP that same day and await AF so I can start taking the Estrace.
We're getting close to the 1 year anniversary also of my friend Jen's passing. In just two short weeks will be the 1 year anniversary of the last time I saw her alive. She invited me to her son's birthday party the following day but I was too tired from the party we had that night so I didn't go. She was gone a month later.
I'm an emotional turmoil mess these days. I'm listening to sad country and sad rock ballad songs and having a good cry.
Anywho...
At the risk of sounding crazy, and I don't really care if you think I am at this point, but I think maybe one or both of them are here sometimes with me. Funny things happen, like the TV remote goes missing for a week ... I mean, where does it go?? LOL
A few weeks ago Chesney and I were playing in the living room and I heard a "dunk" noise. I went into the kitchen and had discovered that one of my shot glasses had randomly fallen from the 2nd shelf on the hutch, remained unbroken, and was rolling around under the kitchen table. Funny thing was that of all the shot glasses I have (I have a collection) it was the one from Hell, LOL. When we were on our cruise we went to Hell in the Cayman Islands, it says "I went to hell" or something like that.
Then the other night, I have a flower vase that has little candle holders and votives in a branch like pattern. Well... I moved it onto the floor to make room for my coupons and have just left it there under the piano bench. The other night I was in the kitchen and heard a little "dink" noise. I went into the living room and one of the glass holders had fallen off its place and landed perfectly upside down on the ground next to the vase. Only thing is, if it had been knocked off maybe by Chesney (?) it wouldn't have flipped upside down it would have rolled on its side.
I can't help but think/hope maybe either Jack or Jen...or maybe Jen helping Jack.... stop by to say hello the only way they can?
I thought the shot glass was pretty humorous :)
Wouldn't it be so nice if they were together??? I read this book written by this woman whose very young son died of cancer, around the same time her friend's husband died. One year for Valentine's Day, she went out in the snow and made a heart of rose petals so her son could see it from heaven. A deer went out and ate all the rose petal. A couple months later she gets a phone call from her friend (whose husband had died). Turns out her friend had seen a psychic. The psychic was confused and said "your husband is with a little boy, and they are saying something about a deer and rose petals. Does that make any sense?" The mother had never told her friend about the valentine. Turns out that her son was being looked after by her friend's husband. I think maybe it is the same with Jack and Jen.
ReplyDeleteI responded mobile , I guess my phone ate my response, lol.... I really like that story and I hope they are together. She probably needs him as much as he needs her right about now.
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