Let It Go

Ironically , the other night I had a dream that I went skiing. However, instead of a ski lift they had a tall staircase you had to climb and almost like a water slide that you had to "Ski" down to get to the hills. When I got to the top, the lights went out and I realized I had to find my way down the chute in the dark. All of a sudden, I realized my family (random cousins) were in line with me waiting to go down the chute too. I decided to take my chances and hope to find my way but then realized.... I didn't have any skis on so I was forced to slide belly first down the chute and crawl down the snowy hill on hands and knees.

If you read my blog fairly often you probably know I'm always up for a dream interpretation and I feel this one really just screams obviously at me. I'm fumbling in the dark to do something that I've wanted to do....and although its slowly being accomplished, its not in a way that people usually do it, but I'm still insistent on doing it. Also...my family, they're there taking the journey in the dark with me to show how much they love me/us.

My new thing for the week is to let go of anger and hostility. I'm so very mad at the world right now. I'm able to have a nice normal day until someone mentions their child or pregnancy or I get home and go on Facebook and see a news feed of children. The evil loss momma monster comes out of hiding and I have had on many, many occasions to stop myself from saying (or typing) something that I'd later regret. I already feel like I lose a friend with each baby born but I'd hopefully like to gain them back someday and not burn my bridges either. Its not their fault their babies live/lived and mine didn't....so I'm trying to "Let It Go".