As if a BFN wasn't bad enough

AF is a monster of a beast this cycle. Now I have mental and physical pain, great.

Thanksgiving went fairly well. At the beginning of the night, I started tearing up while playing with my little cousins. All I kept thinking was, how they were all three poor quality and all took and I couldn't even get one. Yes, I know, my cousin and his wife they went through all the pain and suffering like I'm doing now and the end result was worth it. I cried in their bathroom, pulled myself together, then offered to just help in the kitchen.

Of course, my cousin had lots of questions for me about what stage of our progress we were at. She asked me how many times we planned to do this before pursuing other means. Honestly, I dont know. Part of me wants to do IVF until it works but part of me knows that doesnt necessarily mean I can cope with that. She suggested I go to the CCRM in Denver and that she did a cycle out there. I checked into their clinic and they have very high success rates thats for sure.

I also am looking into the SIRM clinic that is in Peoria. They also have a very high success rate. What I liked best about their clinic though, is they have their own success rate reports which are separate from SART (Society of Assisted Reproductive Technology). They base their patients on one of four categories.....2 of which are less than 2 failed IVF cycles, one having normal FSH and more than 8 eggs retrieved and the other having elevated FSH with less than 8 eggs retrieved. The other 2 are the same but just more than 2 failed IVF cycles. I technically don't fall into any of these categories. I've got more than 2 failed IVF cycles and my FSH is elevated.....but I've had 19 eggs and 11 eggs retrieved respectively. As I've said before, I'm an anomoly. At any rate, for both categories (less than AND more than 8 eggs retrieved) in the more than 2 failed cycle category, they have a success rate around 60%. The number of cycles are low but that is because they screen the cases and take only those that are of interest.....at least that is what I think I read somewhere?!? Well....if anyone is a tough yet interesting case that would be me. Plus Peoria would be easier than Denver to get to. Although we do have friends in Denver so it wouldn't be a stretch.

At any rate, we're working on a 2nd opinion whether its a local clinic or an out of state clinic. Meantime, I'm also filling out initial adoption applications online. My current RE is calling me on Monday, I have a list of questions that I've already emailed her so may be glad to see me go, LOL.

My "2" theme seems to have been only a sign that AF would be twice as bad. I'm just popped 2 Extra Strength Tylenol and downed it with a cup of iced strong coffee. I've never had a headache with AF  quite this bad. Thank you IF, you're a real pain in the ass.